Meet the Monsters
Count Dracula – the most famous of vampires – is the head of the household. He’s been around for hundreds of years and despite his harem of vampire brides, he’s never really found true love. But he hasn’t given up trying. He’s come to accept that he may have to surrender some of his evil, blood sucking ways to secure the love of a good woman, but some habits are hard to break.
“The Monster”, as he’s more formally known, was constructed from the body parts of recently executed criminals by Doctor Frankenstein. He became colloquially referred to as “Frankenstein’s Monster”, which these days has been shortened to Frankie. Despite the gruesome origins of his otherworldly construction he has a heart of gold. And the liver and spleen of a convicted murderer.
An erstwhile protégée of Doctor Frankenstein, he has continued the controversial work of his mentor. His work has made him an object of ridicule amongst his peers, and he has been ostracised from mainstream science. He continues to strive for the breakthrough that will make him famous and respected once more – while doing a bit of maintenance work to Frankie on the side.
Poisoned by a political rival while still young, The Mummy lay at peace in his tomb for over three thousand years until the famous explorer ‘Coward’ Harter broke the seal and dragged his spirit back from the other side to inhabit a crumbling body. From that day forth Harter’s team were afflicted with a rather embarrassing itch – though it’s not clear whether this was due to the curse of the Pharaohs, or too much sand in their undergarments. The Mummy, meanwhile, walks the earth searching for a way to rejuvenate his body – or at least for a good source of fresh bandages.
After creating his first monster, Dr Frankenstein went on to create the creature’s bride. He hoped to demonstrate how far his medical techniques had progressed from his earlier work, so set about creating a svelte and slimline model. Unfortunately he made her a little too slimline, and had trouble fitting everything in. But with a little re-routing, and an extension of the cranium… well, you didn’t think that was all just a hairdo, did you?
She is a no-nonsense woman. Made of spare parts from several former no-nonsense women. She’ll let the men of the house have their fun, but when things start to get serious, it’s the Bride who will get things sorted.
The Old Crone — or “Witchie” to her friends — has a body that’s younger than it looks, and a mind that’s older than her years. No wonder she’s often a little confused. Still, what difference could it make for an absent-minded moment to result in a little belladonna being used instead of wolfsbane when preparing a potion?
She’s also likes to concoct her own brews rather than just rely on traditional potions. Unfortunately she’s not very good at it: it leads to more soup than sorcery.
Wolfie is, as you may have guessed, a werewolf. As with most lycanthropes he didn’t start out that way. He used to have a good career as highly respected dentist, sought after by film stars and royalty alike. That, alas, was his downfall as one film star in particular — a certain Lon Chaney Jr. — accidentally bit his hand during a routine examination. From that day on he would be transformed by the light of the full moon into a creature that was half-man, half-wolf and half-1940s-horror-movie-makeup-disaster. Putting on half his weight again in the process.
The Old Crone tried to reverse the effects of this curse, but in an absent-minded moment she accidentally used a little belladonna instead of wolfsbane in the potion. It certainly reversed the curse: now he is permanently in wolf mode, save for those few hours in the full moon each month when he turns back into a dentist.